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As part of The Mommies Network, RochesterMommies.com is a free community for moms in Rochester and surrounding areas, New York. We realize that all moms need local support -- and who can't use another friend? RochesterMommies.com offers a simple way to connect with local moms for friendship, support and fun. Members meet on our private discussion forums to share information on everything from where to get the best haircut to tips on transitioning to a "big kid" bed. Each month, we also offer many face-to-face events for our members, their children and their families.
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A Dad's Point of View: Being a Teenager Can Be Wonder-Full It?s so easy to complain about our teens. I know I?m guilty of too often dishing out criticisms, admonishments, and lectures. I worry that my boys might be doing drugs, drinking, or some other peer-pressure stupidity. But, they also deserve my support when they do well and my understanding when they slip up.
My 16-year-old, Will, recently bounded into my office, eager to talk. Wisely, I pulled away from the hypnotic lure of my computer, and faced him squarely, ready for whatever followed. Normally, when Will comes to talk to me, I am concerned that he either wants something or is going to confess something that I wish I didn?t have to hear. This time, I listened. And I listened and I listened. I smiled, I nodded, I grunted. But, mostly I listened. He had made a remarkable discovery! What was this remarkable revelation? ?Life is complicated and full of wonder and amazing things. Where did life come from? Why do we sleep? How does our brain work? Why are there different languages and how did they evolve?? He literally rambled off these and other subjects, as if he?d just discovered the wheel!
Will didn?t want me to offer any feedback: he just wanted to share with me his marvelous realizations. I just sat there and patiently let him passionately express these extraordinary questions. After maybe 15 minutes, he didn?t need me anymore and jumped up and left to call his girlfriend and share with her what he?d just voiced.
Later, as we were all getting ready for bed, he came into our bedroom, where my wife was lying down reading, and I had just come in to get ready for bed. He leaped on our chaise lounge, fell off to the side, and scrambled up laughing at his clumsiness. He then proclaimed, ?I love this family,? and proceeded to elaborate for a couple more minutes.
My wife and I actually wondered if Will had taken some drugs, as he seemed so high. But, he hadn?t, and was apparently just being a teenager--a teen enjoying the ?wonder-full-ness? of life.
That is my point. The older we get, the more we forget the wonder of youth, the wonder of being a teenager--discovering new worlds to explore and the new ideas that we feel are just ours. (Okay, let?s hear the Star Trek theme now).
Being a teenager means discovering the world. I think adults too often squash that sense of wonder with the desire to have our kids conform. That was my discovery during the short 18 months that I home-schooled Will, since the lack of conforming public school curriculum and class management allowed Will to learn so much more than he otherwise would have under the structure of public school. It?s why I believe home-schooling is really much better for some kids and, at the time, was the very best thing I could have done for Will.
The job of parents is to introduce our children to the world, to give them exposure to as much as we can, and to allow them to choose their paths. I know that early in my parenting, I had my ideas of what I wanted for my sons that were based on my own particular interests and desires. Fortunately, I got over that selfish instinct and ended up supporting my boys? own interests and dreams. I know too many parents that are single-minded in pushing their kids in the directions these parents think is best while not taking into consideration their kids interests, skills, and desires.
This is dramatically evident in the sports arena, where kids are sometimes literally forced to participate in a sport in which they have no interest. The reason is simply the parents? ego and vicarious desire to live through their kids. It is so wrong. We also see this in the over-the-top push that parents often inflict on their kids to excel at school so that they can get into this or that college that the parents deem best for their child.
I wonder if it ever occurred to those parents that their son or daughter might actually be better off with a year off between high school and college? Or, maybe not even going to college! Not every kid should go to college. Couldn?t college wait a year or two while these high school grads explore life on their own? Maybe they can see a bit more of the world rather than just continue in what can be the cocoon of education and parental (financial) support?
I may have wanted my sons to be great skiers, or get into an Ivy League college, but now I want them to fulfill their own passions and find the same joy in what they do that I?ve been blessed to find in my writing and now, my radio show as well. I urge you to do the same!
Please listen to ?The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad?s Point-of-View? Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://brucesallan.com. Bruce?s column, ?A Dad?s Point-of-View,? is available in over 75 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his ?A Dad?s Point-of-View? page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan.
If you'd like to contribute to the TMN blog, please email blogpost@themommiesnetwork.org
RochesterMommies is participating in Coasters for Caring with Darien Lake Theme Park. http://www.godarienlake.com/ We earn $5 with every ticket that is sold!!!
The tickets are $19.99 each and will get you admission to the park as well as a $2 food voucher that can be used at any food stand in the park. Normal admission costs $39.99 so this is a huge savings! Don't forget - kids 2 and under are free.
When you purchase your ticket, you have the opportunity to upgrade to a season pass once you are in the park. Upgrade for only $25.99 - making the total cost only $45!!! A savings of over $15 if you were to buy a season pass normally (They now cost $60!!)
Tickets can be used for the following dates - May 8, 9, 14, 15 and 16. The park is open 10:30am - 8pm.
RM will be having a Mothers Day Out Family Event at Darien Lake May 8th...but you are obviously more than welcome to attend any of the days listed above. See you there!!!
See Holly, Michelle, or the managers to purchase tickets.
Check out the Charitable Events coming up in April and May! Since we are a support group of moms FOR moms, we are focused on giving back to the community. We do this by holding different charitable events throughout the year such as walks to support different causes, collection drives, or volunteering our time.
We have three opportunities in April and May to help out, and we would love it if you would help us! Saturday, April 10th ~ Start! Heart Walk
Blue Cross Arena at the War Memorial 1 War Memorial Square, Rochester Registration: 8:00 a.m. Walk Starts: 10:00 a.m. 3 Mile Walk (Rain or Shine)
American Heart Association 'Building healthier lives, free of cardiovascular diseases and stroke.' It is a strong, positive, action-oriented message. It shows how we intend to serve our consumers in a global market while looking toward our future goals. The American Heart Association is the largest voluntary health organization working to prevent, treat and defeat heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases. These diseases, the Nation's No.1 and No.3 killers, claim more than 865,000 American lives a year.
To join our team, or to make a donation, visit our page!
Sunday, May 9th ~ Pink Ribbon 5k and Family Walk
The Pink Ribbon 5K Run is the only race in the region exclusively for women. WOMEN young and old, of all ages and abilities are welcome to participate in this 5K Road Race. This course is certified by the USA Track & Field/Road Running Technical Council, #NY04021AM.
The 2 ½ Mile Family Fitness Walk is open to men, women and children ... walkers, joggers, strollers, and fitness enthusiasts.
When: Mother's Day, Sunday, May 9, 2010
7:00 a.m. Registration
9:05 a.m. 5K Race Start Time
9:10 a.m. Fitness Walk Start Time
Where: Ontario Beach Park, Rochester, NY. Race & Walk both begin near the bandstand.
To join our team or to make a donation, visit our page!
Friday, May 21st, and Saturday, May 22nd ~ Trike-A-Thon for St Jude Children's Research Hospital
Ages 2-6 Skating Institute of Rochester 1 Boys Club Place Rochester, NY 14608
Friday: 6:00pm ? 7:30pm ~ Bring your kids to the rink on Friday night to learn 4 bike safety rules through animated videos with Bikewell Bear and Pedals the Bunny.
Saturday: 12:30pm ? 3:00pm ~ Trike-A-Thon! Saturday is when the kids put what they learned on Friday night to good use! They will be riding their bikes or ride-on toys around the rink while officers from the Rochester Police Department gently remind them of the safety rules. They will be riding to help raise money for St. Jude!
?The money you raise will help St. Jude help kids from all over the world who have cancer, AIDS, sickle cell and other catastrophic diseases. At St. Jude, no family ever pays for treatments not covered by insurance, and families without insurance are never asked to pay. Thanks to millions of kids like you, we are also able to pay for transportation for our patients and their families and give them a place to live while they are at St Jude. Since opening in 1962, St. Jude has treated patients from all 50 states and more than 70 foreign countries. Your participation makes you a part of our mission to find cures and save children.?
To sign up to ride, or to make a donation, visit our page!
**Remember to sign up your children and not yourself!
Traveling in 2010 The time of year is approaching when we all start looking toward our summer (or even spring!) plans for vacation!
Women's Day Magazine had a great section on websites (and Phone Apps!) that will help you in your travel plans.
Getting there:
Websites: Kayak.com: Compares prices at multiple travel and airline sites to help you find the cheapest plane tickets. Yapta.com: Tracks airline prices daily and send you an e-mail alert if the fare drops- even after you book! SeatGuru.com: Guides you to the best airplane seats. Airfarewatchdog.com: People, not computers, search for up-to-the-minute deals, including airlines' Web-only fares.
Phone Apps: Airline Bag Fees: Tells you the checked bag policy for 26 domestic airlines. ($2.99; iTunes App Store) Flight Status: Find out the most up-to-date ETA on your flight. you can search by flight number, route or airport ($4.99; iTunes App Store) Next Flight: Tracks scheduled departures from more than 4,200 airports and 1,100 airlines. ($2.99; iTunes App Store) Gate Maps: Navigate your way through nearly 40 airports! ($0.99; iTunes App Store)
Where to stay:
Websites: TripAdvisor.com: This site has user-generated reviews of about 450,000 hotels worldwide, giving you the lowdown on the good and the bad. Trekaroo.com: Here you'll find reviews of kid-friendly hotels (destinations and activities, too) in every state, written by parents who've stayed there. HomeAway.com: A wide selection of rentals (more than 185,000) Just choose your criteria, then search for the exact property you want.
Phone Apps: Hotel Negotiator: (from Priceline) Lets you bid lown on last minute hotel bookings (Free; iTunes App Stores) Hotel Pal: Shows hotels in your area with current vacancies, plus rates and amenities. Book right from the app! (Free; iTunes App Store)
TravelSavvyMom.com; WeJustGotBack.com
Good Eats:
Website: Yelp.com: Find out how restaurants across the country stack up, based on reviews and ratings from people who have eaten there OpenTable.com: Check the menus (and prices) of more than 11,000 restaurants in the U.S. and abroad, and make a reservation on the spot. Restaurant.com: Search by state or zip code for a list of restaurants offering $10 to $100 gift certificates at deeply discounted prices of $4 to $40.
Phone Apps: Urbanspoon: A great guide to local restaurants, this app uses GPS technology to pinpoint them. Select a neighborhood, price range and type of food. (Free; iTunes App Store, appworld.blackberry.com/webstore) Kids Eat For: Uses GPS to tell you the nearest places where kids eat for free or at reduced prices ($2.99; iTunes App Store; kidseatfor.com/android
Getting Around:
Websites: UrbanRail.net: Don't get lost on public transit. Go here to find subway maps for hundreds of cities worldwide. BreezeNet.com: Search this site for some of the best bargains on the Web from multiple companies- all in one place. LowerGear.com: Rent a handheld or automotive GPS for as little as $19 for three days. CityPass.com: Save up to 50 percent on admissions to must-see attractions like Disneyland and the Statue of Liberty in 10 major U.S. cities.
Phone Apps: GoTourIt: Buy and download GPS-guided audio tour of cities, national parks and historic sites (Free; iTunes App Store) AroundMe: Locates pharmacies, ATMs, etc and tells you how to get there. (Free; iTunes App Stores) Great books from insiders:
*The Unofficial guide to walk Disney World with Kids 2010 (by Bob Sehlinger) *the Travel Mom's Ultimate Book of Family Travel: Planning, Surviving, and Enjoying your Vacation Together (by Emily Kaufman) *Frommer's 500 Places to Take Your Kids before They Grow Up by Holly Hughes *The 10 Best of Everything Families: An Ultimate Guide for Travlers (by Susan Magsamen)
